Guilt Free Baby Number Three

If two is company, then they'd have you believe that three is a crowd! I am not sure I totally agree, yet at this point, I can't say for certain that I disagree with that statement either! Four months ago we welcomed baby no# 3 into our family, and have faced many unsolicited opinions about that choice. And here is where I would like to emphasize the word "choice." That is what it was.  

Our beautiful baby number three!

We made a conscious decision to have another baby. We discussed it, weighed the pros and cons, looked at our budget (yes, we knew it will be tight!) considered my age (yes, I will have children in my home until retirement!) the age of the other children, and we still decided that for "our family," having another baby would bring us more joy (not less) and would be another blessing to love. I always wanted a big family, and would love to have had many more children, but it just wasn't meant to be for this family of five.

Harrison is proud to be a big brother again!

Contrary to what society calls the "norm," which last time I checked, I believe is one boy and one girl (in any order) about 2 years apart, we would be breaking tradition. We are all expected to fit into this category. The world is set up for families of four. Most houses are built standard as 3 bedroom homes. The majority of vehicles comfortably seat 4 people, with that middle seat in the back to be used as nothing more than a divider, to draw your imaginary line and stake out your territory and claim your space in the back seat, in hopes of getting one or two more inches than your unsuspecting sibling. Vacation packages are usually set up for parties of four. And don't even get me started on hotel rooms and their policies on the number of people allowed per room and the extra charges you incur when you exceed their two adult/two children rule! Tables and booths in restaurants are most conveniently set up to accommodate parties of four. Many kitchen tables come with four chairs. And the list goes on. And then there are all the possibilities that I haven't even thought of yet!

Stetson is finally a big brother too!

But why is it that because society has set out these guidelines (not even sure what they are for really!) that when you announce your third pregnancy, people look at you like you have two heads and they assume you have gone mad! I don't believe it's a contagious condition. I also don't believe it's something in the water! It may be something in the wine, but definitely not the water! However, everyone acts like you may be slightly crazy for taking fate into your own hands and having that awkward poor third child. "Oh my God!" was the most common reaction. They also wondered if I knew what caused it. Yes, it's the wine. Some assumed it was obviously an accident. Others were concerned about my age and the risks involved in having a baby over 40. Some made comments about having to start all over again! Don't you have to start all over again with every baby, no matter their birth order? I mean, they don't come to you half grown! They do require some ground work that usually starts in the form of a newborn! But let's get to what they believe to be the "real" reason for baby number three...we must have wanted a girl. As the parents of two boys, there is only one reasonable explanation for why we would have another baby, and that would be to have a girl. After all, who wants three boys?

Our sweet little angel.

The truth is, that was never part of the discussion. I realize that is hard to believe. We really just wanted another child to love. Another sibling for the two beautiful and amazing boys we already had. We wanted a bigger family. A girl would be nice. So would a boy. I admit that I was drawn to the pinks, the purples and the frilly dresses in the girl aisle, and wondered awkwardly what it would be like to buy them and dress up a girl like a little doll. Then I walked past the hair and makeup aisle, not to mention the endless accessories required and remembered that I have no idea about accessorizing or doing hair! It actually gave me slight anxiety! I would then return to the boys department and stroll the aisles with ease, looking at all the blue denim and plaid, and knowing with confidence that I could pull off a cute baby boy ensemble with jeans and a cute onesie! No accessories or hair bows required! I also remembered the bins full of blue clothes and blankets I had ready to roll out at home, in the event of another boy, and all the money we have invested in hockey equipment, that would be nice to hand down....again! It became obvious to me that having another boy would just be easier! I already knew what to do with a boy. We also didn't own anything pink or frilly. I don't even know the names of all the Disney princesses. Yes, having a girl would give me anxiety. 

Welcome to our family Fletcher!

We decided not to find out the gender of our baby and opted to wait for the surprise ending! On an early morning last October, in the OR of our rural small town hospital, as my doctor called out one single word that would seal our fate as a family of five forever, I felt complete joy when the only word spoken from beyond the green curtain half way through our c-section, was...."Boy!" That is all he said! I did ask twice, to confirm what I'd heard..."Did he say boy!?" I felt thrilled, ecstatic, joy, elation, excitement, and yes, some relief, in knowing that I would forever be a Mom to my own Boys Only Club! I would remain the Queen of this Castle!

Our Pride of  Boys!

However, the reaction of most people to the news of a third boy is equally surprising, as the reactions to announcing a third pregnancy. When people hear you have three boys, they immediately place their hand on your arm, lowered their head, glance at you with a look of sympathy and say "I'm sorry!" Sorry!? I am not! They also assume you are very busy and have your hands full. Any mother of three is busy and has her hands full! Three has turned out to be much harder and much more work than only having two, but that has nothing to do with gender. Three is crazy. Three is loud. Three is non stop action. Three is being outnumbered by children. Three puts you over the edge. But we love each and every one of them and would not have it any other way! I would not trade any of them in for a girl. We love our little family of five. Our pride of boys. Three is it's own unique brand of homemade chaos indeed!