Two Year Old Angst

Today we celebrated two amazing years since we welcomed our precious little surprise miracle into our family. He is the one little soul we didn't know we were waiting for. And now the brightest light we couldn't live without. He stole my heart the moment I found out we were expecting him and my love for him hasn't stopped growing since that day. We anxiously awaited his arrival, with all the trepidations of pregnancy that one does. Was he a boy? Was she a girl? What colour would the baby's hair be? Would our baby even have hair? Would this baby look like his/her big brother? And the leading question....how tall would this baby be?! On a frigid winter morning, with the temperature sitting at -35C plus windchill, as March came in like a lion, our beautiful baby boy came out like a lamb.


He turned us from a mother and son duo, with a partner, into a family of four instantly. He gave Harrison the title of Big Brother, turned Joe into a Daddy, and gave me the second baby I had been longing for. He was our sweet little cherub...all he was missing were his wings.

He has grown and changed so much in just two short years, as they do. From a long list of firsts, to major milestones, to the lessons he continues to learn at a such a rapid rate, it's far too fast to keep pace with! He is a bundle of energy and a source of constant joy! He will charm you with his blue eyes that sparkle, with his smile that lights up the room, to that trademark wild & unruly curly blond hair of his! He is sweet, kind, full of empathy, gentle, loving, caring and the best of both Joe and I. Do not be fooled by all of that, he has earned the title of Toughest Little Brother around here! He is quick, sharp, agile and athletic, shows a creative side and loves music and dancing. He binds us together and makes our family whole. I cannot imagine our lives without him. We are blessed to know him and to call him son and Little Brother.

And the angst over him turning two is all mine. I look back on two wonderful years and fret about where that time has gone. I want him to stay little. To remain innocent. To fit perfectly on my lap. To call me Mamama. Forever. Not just for this short time that we are given. Not just for the last two years. Not just for the next two years. But forever. As I look at Harrison, who is already 10 years old....I am reminded of how quickly the time slips by, and it's easy to get caught up in the toddler angst, the terrible twos, the trying threes. How could my little 7 lb 3 oz baby, who fit in one arm just two years ago, be running and jumping and climbing....how could he be a toddler so soon? I am torn between wishing he would stay a baby, but wanting to see who he will become. Knowing that there is just as much joy that lies in between both of those worlds. And so as I wish my sweet baby boy a very Happy 2nd Birthday, I do it with a little bit of angst over him leaving the baby stage and entering the toddler stage, but with so much joy in my heart, that I am lucky enough to be called Mamama by such an amazing little human being, who has already made such a difference in two short years.

Happy 2nd Birthday sweet little Stetson Joseph. Mommy and Daddy and Big Brother love you more and more every single day. Go into the world and let your light shine.